So let me introduce myself. My name is CrazyB. Not my real name. All names have been changed to protect the innocent as well as the guilty. I am in my, dare I say it, late 30's. I'm not sure how or when that happened. I don’t remember becoming an adult but I guess it happened at some point. I remember shortly after bringing home my newborn from the hospital feeling like I was just babysitting for a while. After a few months I was like “when are the parents of this child coming back?” Then I remembered I was the parent. Life as a new mom was tough. A baby with colic was not what I envisioned, neither was an alcoholic husband.

This is the first time I have ever blogged. Ok, not really. I had somewhat of a blog on a community site a few years ago but I never kept up with it so I don’t think that counts. So why am I blogging? I think maybe it will help me deal with the crap life throws at me daily. I work used to work 60 hours a week, now I’m just part time. I'm raising a very sassy almost 10 year-old and married to someone with an obvious mental illness. How I haven't been commited to a mental facility yet, I don't know. I guess the older I get the stronger I get.

Let’s start at the beginning, the beginning of a life I never envisioned. I met my husband in May 2001. I was pregnant and engaged in January 2002, got married to X in June 2002, and had SmartyPants in October 2002. I was aware that X struggled with alcohol addiction when I met him but he was in recovery at that time and I did not understand the magnitude of that kind of problem. By the time SmartyPants was born I was fully aware of what hell an alcoholic will put you through. He even skipped a visit to the hospital after I gave birth because he was out getting drunk. There have been years of ups and downs. Years of speculating about what causes the drinking, years of begging him to seek help. Shit got real when he was in an accident with intoxicated. He spent a few days in jail and stopped drinking for six months straight. Then slowly the drinking started all over again. We opened a restaurant in 2008 and things went from bad to worse.

This is where I’m going to stop my story for now. Don’t worry, I’ve lots more to tell about the saga that is my life. Until then I will try to stay sane in this insane world.